Military Spouse's Clubs

I find it necessary to open this blog with a disclaimer:
***I prefer not to discuss politics. I find it often polarizes people and leaves a bad taste in peoples' mouths. I just don't like to go there. So let's be clear, this is not about red/blue, republican/democrat, or conservative/liberal.  This is about kindness, humanity, and love - values I am not afraid to support. ***

Today, I read an article about the officer's spouse club in Fort Bragg denying membership to an individual because they were in a same-sex relationship. It broke my heart.

For those of you not familiar with military living, a spouse's club is a support group of sorts for the loved ones of our service members. There is usually one in every command. The name is somewhat deceiving because although it is called a "spouse" club, wives, husbands, fiancees, boyfriends, and girlfriends are all invited to join. Speaking from personal experience, the support these groups offer is immeasurable.

The military lifestyle is a difficult one, not only for the men and women who choose to serve, but also their families and loved ones. Our families are too often forced to uproot and move to new and strange locations. We are torn away from family, friends, and everything we know. We have to start over fresh everywhere we go - new friends, new jobs, new churches, and new cultures. The transition can be difficult. Sometimes it takes months to meet new people. And if our loved ones are not deployed, they are often working long hours, or standing 24-hour watch. So not surprisingly, the military life is also a lonely one.

In short, the military life comes with riddled with challenges and difficulties that no one should have to face alone.

That is what is so wonderful about the spouse's clubs. It is a group of people who are all going through the same thing and who have decided they do not want to go through it alone. We support each other. We provide a shoulder to cry on. We bring you a week of meals when you are sick or have just had a baby. We provide companionship, understanding, and love. Essentially we become each other's family away from home.

And like many families, we are not always a perfect fit. There are always a few quirky people, a few black sheep, a few who are too perfect, a few we disagree with, and a few who get on our nerves. Of course this makes sense because we are comprised of people from all walks of life. Our members come from all over the world, we all have different backgrounds, and we were raised with different values. But we all undeniably share a common thread - the military - so we come together despite our differences. We come together because we need each other.

That is why I was shocked and saddened to read what I read this morning. This type of exclusion and ostracism has no place in our military family. These are not the values promoted by any spouse's club I have had the pleasure of joining, and I would not expect it from any spouse's club I join in the future. Further, these are not the values promoted by the military. Policies have changed. It is as simple as that.  Military families that were once forced to suffer alone the many trials of the military, are now allowed to openly be recognized as a family, and they need our support as much as any other military family. Let us not deny them the support we so willingly offer others.

Remember, we are all in this together.

**Side-note: the Marine Corps has advised spouse's clubs that they must admit same-sex spouses if they wish to remain on the bases. Good move, Marines.**