Spots

Despite my best efforts to prevent it, my little girls are growing up. Brooke is getting ready to start preschool this month and I still cannot wrap my brain around it. In my mind she is still a baby and I like to think she needs her mommy a lot more than she probably does. Whether I like it or not, she is entering a new phase in life. I have no choice but to prepare myself for it. The biggest hurdle I have discovered is learning to let go.

Letting go. What a terrifying concept. I have to let my little girl enter an environment that I cannot control.  I have to let her begin to make (some) of her own decision. I have to let her choose her own friends. I have to allow her to get her feelings hurt. It is a part of life, I know. But my protective motherly instincts are kicking in and I want to shield her from the ugliness of the world.

Is this normal? Should it be this difficult to let go? I don't know. I think the problem is there is a part of me that feels the world does not deserve the wonderful little person my Brookie is. If you have ever had the pleasure of meeting her, you would know there is something special about her. I know I am her mommy and I biased, but trust me, she is amazing and I know she is going to do big things in her life.

Regardless of my own reservations, Brooke could not be more excited. School is literally all she can talk about (and she talks a LOT). Most of her chatter about school has been positive. But today she said something that broke my heart. She said "mom, what if the kids at school don't like my spots?" In case you don't know, her "spots" are the tiny freckles she has on her cheeks and arms. I have never looked at her freckles as anything other than adorable. The very idea that someone may think differently is almost incomprehensible to me. But kids can be cruel and it is my job to prepare her to handle these situations. So I fought back a tear, pulled her close to me, kissed my favorite freckle on her little hand, and I told her what my mom told me when I was feeling bad about my freckles. I told her that each freckle was a spot where an angel kissed her before she came from Heaven. I warned her that some kids may not like her "spots", but that each of  her spots makes her special and unique. I told her to wear her spots proudly and to not worry about what other kids will think. I then washed off all of my makeup and pointed out to her each of my spots.

I know I cannot protect her from everything and she inevitably is going to experience heartache. But I do think there is something we can all do as parents. We can teach our children kindness and empathy. We can teach our children to value the traits that go further than skin-deep and to appreciate the differences in others. We can lead by example and speak kindly of others, especially when our children are around. Afterall, there are so many things in life our children will have to worry about. What others think of the way they look should not have to be one of them.

No, we cannot protect them from everything, but we could make things a little better. And maybe, just maybe, letting go wouldn't be so hard.